I think that goes well with my 31 December post’s conclusion (and hardly original quote): “If you aren’t having fun, you aren’t doing it right.”

 

This week I’ve also been reflecting on the need to relax.

 

Because sometimes, to realign Ms. Poppins quote, the game is a job.

 

Sure, it all started as fun and games. But even though no one’s put an eye out (so far), the fun and the game seem to have split and are now on opposite sides of the room, refusing to cooperate or even talk to each other. What started with excitement and a bright vision of the future has become a dark dystopia, grinding you down like a slavedriver with a sore tooth and need to share his pain–with you.

 

It’s too late to stop now, though. You signed the contract, you announced the project, and now it’s get it done…or suffer the consequences.

 

Somehow, the whole thing shifted from “Look what I get to do!” to “Damn-damn damn-damn-damn.” And it wasn’t a pleasant shift. Nor does it look like a pleasant way to spend the next weeks or months as you Get It Done.

 

So what can you do?

 

If Mary Poppins drifted in on her umbrella and jauntily told you to, “Look for the fun.” Chances are good that something would SNAP.

 

So I’m taking a slightly different tack: Take the time to relax first. Then look for (remember) the fun. And then, finally, it might not be a “snap”, but you can begin to recover your enthusiasm.

 

Really.

 

Relaxing is good for you. If there’s something you have to do, and you’re not looking forward to it, or if you’re worried about doing it wrong, you make it worse for yourself by tensing up. When you get tense, you lose flexibility, and you tend to either overreact to the unexpected or just freeze up. Neither of those is very helpful.

 

Long years ago, as a teenager, I read “Psycho-Cybernetics”, by Maxwell Maltz (the original 1960’s version, not the so-called updated version from the 1990’s). One of the passages that always stuck with me had to do with the power of being relaxed. When you’re relaxed, you can observe and, if you choose, respond to whatever happens. Being relaxed, you’re ready for anything and can choose to do anything. When you tense up, you tire your muscles and your mind while you limit your possibilities.

 

I heard this advice again in martial arts training. When you tense up, you give away what you’re expecting your opponent to do, and what you’re about to do. Be ready, yes, but be relaxed.

 

Are tasks, like developing a game (or writing a book), opponents? I assure you, they can be.

 

Even if it’s something you enjoy doing, if there’s too much pressure on you, you can find yourself tensing up and dreading the task. So you put it off. But that only adds more pressure, and gets you more worked up. Maybe you try to work on it, but it’s like pulling teeth–your own teeth, with no anesthetic. Agony every step of the way.

 

Here is something you like doing, something you want to do, but for some reason you’re fighting yourself.

 

Often, the only way to break the cycle and regain control of the situation is to do the one thing that seems impossible: Relax.

 

Take a deep breath, and let it out slow. Get as “loose” as you can physically. You’ll be surprised how it can help you loosen up mentally too. There are all sorts of relaxation techniques, and most don’t require either chanting or contortion. Chances are you already know how to help yourself relax. Don’t put it off. Do it (undo it?) now.

 

Once you’ve relaxed, accept things as they are right now. No guilt. No blame. No excuses. Then you can see clearly and think clearly, and not only see what needs to be done, but remember why you started in the first place–the fun part.

 

And that’s why we’re here: The fun part.

 

So, if you know you have to do something, and for whatever reason the “have to” (internal or external) is grinding you down, take the time to:

 

 

Have fun!

 

-Joe