Being self-employed means never having a boss tell you what to work on next.
Which is a good thing, I assure you. But, sometimes, it presents you (and by “you” I mean “me”) with a paralyzing abundance of choices.
I’m not the most single-minded person on the best of days. Sure, I can focus sufficiently on a project to get it done (eventually). Put me betwixt and between major projects, though, and it becomes a Problem. I can spend week after week wondering, “So…what do I do now?”
Sometimes, when I’m feeling less than kind to myself, I wonder how much more I could have gotten done in my life if I hadn’t spent (and didn’t spend) so much time and energy deciding what I should do next.
Not what I can do or could do. Those lists are easily compiled and admired.
No, what wedges itself under my oil pan and causes me to rock back and forth with wheels spinning ineffectually is the should.
What has the best return on investment?
What will be the most satisfying?
What is the most impressive?
What do I really want to do?
Will I finish this if I start it?
Will it make me look fat?
Which question is the most important today? What will be the most important in a week or a month? I don’t know.
I’ll probably shake it off soon. I always do (eventually). In the meantime, don’t ask me what I want to be when I grow up unless you want an earful.
-David